I can’t imagine a woman treating my son the way I treat his dad on some days. I would be angry and sad and would definitely not think kindly about that woman. But that woman is me. So why wouldn’t I treat his dad as I would like him to be treated one day by his partner?
You see what needs to be done and won't do it. At least you can admit it.
At least you are ready to be the stereotypical mother in law! Congratulations!